New Years?

Ok. I'm a little late. As in half a month late. But I have finally decided on my new year's resolution, even though I decided long ago that they are worthless. My new year's resolution: learn to walk for the third time. Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen. The third time. How many of you can lay claim to that?! Hmm? Hmm? For a status report for those not in the area presently or who just don't see me often or those whom I lie to about my condition (sorry y'all, it gets really tiring to give a full status report to everyone, so you just end up saying "fine" a whole lot): I am practically painless. I'm just waiting, waiting, waiting for the bone to heal. Sometimes my incision hurts cause I stretch it too far when laying on my side, or my muscles decide they don't want to move so that I end up sore, but for the most part, I'm painless. I've started going back to school, in a wheelchair of course, so that I don't fall over and die. The death refers to a HUGE reconstructive surgery I would have to go through and approximately 4 more months of immobility. Yeah. Not happening. But there are some good things that come out of the surgery.

Pros:
*My seven inch scar. Some ask if I have my vitimin E handy, which is a formula that actually reduces scar tissue. The thing is, I have a weird affection and pride for my scars. This scar will be the sixth permanent scar I have. Five are from hip surgery/leg breakage and one is from cracking my head open. In a weird way, they seem to represent all that's happened to me and therefore are a natural part of me. I wouldn't erase them away for the world.

*My dead spot. I actually feel like Mal (Firefly/Serenity) on this one. Instead of having a dead, unfeeling spot in my kidneys, I have a dead, unfeeling, nerveless area about 2 inches to the left of my scar. It's actually pretty neat. I keep getting freaked out though cause I accidentaly feel it, realize I don't and then get the shivers. My dream, though, is to get into a fight and someone stab my in my hip and then I shake the hair out of my eyes and say in a deadly voice "I don't feel that. But you'll feel this!" and then plant a flying kick into their chest. It'll be great!

*The incredible support. Everyone at school, faculty, staff, friends, colleagues, have showed incredible support to make sure I can still learn everything, and go everywhere I need to. It's so amazing.

Cons:
*The explanatory process. I hate explaining to people what happened to me. I don't mind for about two people, but after a while, explaining to everyone what happened is just so tiring. And you can't just run away from the question, cause you're either in a walker or crutches (muletas!) or a wheelchair. One girl who I didn't even know responded this way when I told her I had hip dysplasia: "You mean, the things that dogs get!?" Yes. The things that dogs get.

*The death of spontaneity. Every once in a while you get an impulse. The impulse to tickle someone, to sneak up behind them, or to dance in the rain. All that was taken away for a while. I realized about a week ago that I won't be able to dance for a bit more than two months. Not that I dance professionally, or even as a hobby, but I like to. I do a twirl when I feel happy, I dance when that certain song comes on that just makes you want to move, I move like that all the time. It's so sad to feel that you can't do that anymore.

*Oh yeah, I can't walk.

*Friends you didn't know you had. I won't say her name, but there's a girl at school I am acquainted with. I don't know her that much and really don't care to. But know that I'm in a wheel chair, I'm her best friend. Wow. I'm really working this italics thing, aren't I? People want to push you around everywhere. Personally, it's a little hit on my pride. Like I can't get myself to places, or what?

Well, that's pretty much it. Sorry for my inattentiveness lately. Wow. I seem to apologize everytime I write. Oops. (But I won't apologize.) :D